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<p><abbr>Mrs.</abbr> Cassidy slipped an arm around her chum. “You poor thing!” she said. “But everybody cant have a husband like Jack. Marriage wouldnt be no failure if they was all like him. These discontented wives you hear about—what they need is a man to come home and kick their slats in once a week, and then make it up in kisses, and chocolate creams. Thatd give em some interest in life. What I want is a masterful man that slugs you when hes jagged and hugs you when he aint jagged. Preserve me from the man that aint got the sand to do neither!”</p>
<p><abbr>Mrs.</abbr> Fink sighed.</p>
<p>The hallways were suddenly filled with sound. The door flew open at the kick of <abbr>Mr.</abbr> Cassidy. His arms were occupied with bundles. Mame flew and hung about his neck. Her sound eye sparkled with the love light that shines in the eye of the Maori maid when she recovers consciousness in the hut of the wooer who has stunned and dragged her there.</p>
<p>“Hello, old girl!” shouted <abbr>Mr.</abbr> Cassidy. He shed his bundles and lifted her off her feet in a mighty hug. “I got tickets for Barnum &amp; Baileys, and if youll bust the string of one of them bundles I guess youll find that silk waist—why, good evening, <abbr>Mrs.</abbr> Fink—I didnt see you at first. Hows old Mart coming along?”</p>
<p>“Hello, old girl!” shouted <abbr>Mr.</abbr> Cassidy. He shed his bundles and lifted her off her feet in a mighty hug. “I got tickets for Barnum &amp; Baileys, and if youll bust the string of one of them bundles I guess youll find that silk waist—why, good evening, <abbr>Mrs.</abbr> Fink—I didnt see you at first. Hows old Mart coming along?”</p>
<p>“Hes very well, <abbr>Mr.</abbr> Cassidy—thanks,” said <abbr>Mrs.</abbr> Fink. “I must be going along up now. Martll be home for supper soon. Ill bring you down that pattern you wanted tomorrow, Mame.”</p>
<p><abbr>Mrs.</abbr> Fink went up to her flat and had a little cry. It was a meaningless cry, the kind of cry that only a woman knows about, a cry from no particular cause, altogether an absurd cry; the most transient and the most hopeless cry in the repertory of grief. Why had Martin never thrashed her? He was as big and strong as Jack Cassidy. Did he not care for her at all? He never quarrelled; he came home and lounged about, silent, glum, idle. He was a fairly good provider, but he ignored the spices of life.</p>
<p><abbr>Mrs.</abbr> Finks ship of dreams was becalmed. Her captain ranged between plum duff and his hammock. If only he would shiver his timbers or stamp his foot on the quarterdeck now and then! And she had thought to sail so merrily, touching at ports in the Delectable Isles! But now, to vary the figure, she was ready to throw up the sponge, tired out, without a scratch to show for all those tame rounds with her sparring partner. For one moment she almost hated Mame—Mame, with her cuts and bruises, her salve of presents and kisses; her stormy voyage with her fighting, brutal, loving mate.</p>

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<h2 epub:type="title">Elsie in New York</h2>
<p>No, bumptious reader, this story is not a continuation of the Elsie series. But if your Elsie had lived over here in our big city there might have been a chapter in her books not very different from this.</p>
<p>Especially for the vagrant feet of youth are the roads of Manhattan beset “with pitfall and with gin.” But the civic guardians of the young have made themselves acquainted with the snares of the wicked, and most of the dangerous paths are patrolled by their agents, who seek to turn straying ones away from the peril that menaces them. And this will tell you how they guided my Elsie safely through all peril to the goal that she was seeking.</p>
<p>Elsies father had been a cutter for Fox &amp; Otter, cloaks and furs, on lower Broadway. He was an old man, with a slow and limping gait, so a pothunter of a newly licensed chauffeur ran him down one day when livelier game was scarce. They took the old man home, where he lay on his bed for a year and then died, leaving $2.50 in cash and a letter from <abbr>Mr.</abbr> Otter offering to do anything he could to help his faithful old employee. The old cutter regarded this letter as a valuable legacy to his daughter, and he put it into her hands with pride as the shears of the dread Cleaner and Repairer snipped off his thread of life.</p>
<p>That was the landlords cue; and forth he came and did his part in the great eviction scene. There was no snowstorm ready for Elsie to steal out into, drawing her little red woollen shawl about her shoulders, but she went out, regardless of the unities. And as for the red shawl—back to Blaney with it! Elsies fall tan coat was cheap, but it had the style and fit of the best at Fox &amp; Otters. And her lucky stars had given her good looks, and eyes as blue and innocent as the new shade of note paper, and she had $1 left of the $2.50. And the letter from <abbr>Mr.</abbr> Otter. Keep your eye on the letter from <abbr>Mr.</abbr> Otter. That is the clue. I desire that everything be made plain as we go. Detective stories are so plentiful now that they do not sell.</p>
<p>Elsies father had been a cutter for Fox &amp; Otter, cloaks and furs, on lower Broadway. He was an old man, with a slow and limping gait, so a pothunter of a newly licensed chauffeur ran him down one day when livelier game was scarce. They took the old man home, where he lay on his bed for a year and then died, leaving $2.50 in cash and a letter from <abbr>Mr.</abbr> Otter offering to do anything he could to help his faithful old employee. The old cutter regarded this letter as a valuable legacy to his daughter, and he put it into her hands with pride as the shears of the dread Cleaner and Repairer snipped off his thread of life.</p>
<p>That was the landlords cue; and forth he came and did his part in the great eviction scene. There was no snowstorm ready for Elsie to steal out into, drawing her little red woollen shawl about her shoulders, but she went out, regardless of the unities. And as for the red shawl—back to Blaney with it! Elsies fall tan coat was cheap, but it had the style and fit of the best at Fox &amp; Otters. And her lucky stars had given her good looks, and eyes as blue and innocent as the new shade of note paper, and she had $1 left of the $2.50. And the letter from <abbr>Mr.</abbr> Otter. Keep your eye on the letter from <abbr>Mr.</abbr> Otter. That is the clue. I desire that everything be made plain as we go. Detective stories are so plentiful now that they do not sell.</p>
<p>And so we find Elsie, thus equipped, starting out in the world to seek her fortune. One trouble about the letter from <abbr>Mr.</abbr> Otter was that it did not bear the new address of the firm, which had moved about a month before. But Elsie thought she could find it. She had heard that policemen, when politely addressed, or thumbscrewed by an investigation committee, will give up information and addresses. So she boarded a downtown car at One Hundred and Seventy-seventh street and rode south to Forty-second, which she thought must surely be the end of the island. There she stood against the wall undecided, for the citys roar and dash was new to her. Up where she had lived was rural New York, so far out that the milkmen awaken you in the morning by the squeaking of pumps instead of the rattling of cans.</p>
<p>A kind-faced, sunburned young man in a soft-brimmed hat went past Elsie into the Grand Central Depot. That was Hank Ross, of the Sunflower Ranch, in Idaho, on his way home from a visit to the East. Hanks heart was heavy, for the Sunflower Ranch was a lonesome place, lacking the presence of a woman. He had hoped to find one during his visit who would congenially share his prosperity and home, but the girls of Gotham had not pleased his fancy. But, as he passed in, he noted, with a jumping of his pulses, the sweet, ingenuous face of Elsie and her pose of doubt and loneliness. With true and honest Western impulse he said to himself that here was his mate. He could love her, he knew; and he would surround her with so much comfort, and cherish her so carefully that she would be happy, and make two sunflowers grow on the ranch where there grew but one before.</p>
<p>Hank turned and went back to her. Backed by his never before questioned honesty of purpose, he approached the girl and removed his soft-brimmed hat. Elsie had but time to sum up his handsome frank face with one shy look of modest admiration when a burly cop hurled himself upon the ranchman, seized him by the collar and backed him against the wall. Two blocks away a burglar was coming out of an apartment-house with a bag of silverware on his shoulder; but that is neither here nor there.</p>
<p>“Carry on yez mashin tricks right before me eyes, will yez?” shouted the cop. “Ill teach yez to speak to ladies on me beat that yere not acquainted with. Come along.”</p>
<p>Elsie turned away with a sigh as the ranchman was dragged away. She had liked the effect of his light blue eyes against his tanned complexion. She walked southward, thinking herself already in the district where her father used to work, and hoping to find someone who could direct her to the firm of Fox &amp; Otter.</p>
<p>Elsie turned away with a sigh as the ranchman was dragged away. She had liked the effect of his light blue eyes against his tanned complexion. She walked southward, thinking herself already in the district where her father used to work, and hoping to find someone who could direct her to the firm of Fox &amp; Otter.</p>
<p>But did she want to find <abbr>Mr.</abbr> Otter? She had inherited much of the old cutters independence. How much better it would be if she could find work and support herself without calling on him for aid!</p>
<p>Elsie saw a sign “Employment Agency” and went in. Many girls were sitting against the wall in chairs. Several well-dressed ladies were looking them over. One white-haired, kind-faced old lady in rustling black silk hurried up to Elsie.</p>
<p>“My dear,” she said in a sweet, gentle voice, “are you looking for a position? I like your face and appearance so much. I want a young woman who will be half maid and half companion to me. You will have a good home and I will pay you $30 a month.”</p>
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<p>“The flesh-pots of Egypt,” exclaimed the reverend gentleman, uplifting his hands. “I beseech you, my child, to turn away from this place of sin and iniquity.”</p>
<p>“But what will I do for a living?” asked Elsie. “I dont care to sew for this musical comedy, if its as rank as you say it is; but Ive got to have a job.”</p>
<p>“The Lord will provide,” said the solemn man. “There is a free Bible class every Sunday afternoon in the basement of the cigar store next to the church. Peace be with you. Amen. Farewell.”</p>
<p>Elsie went on her way. She was soon in the downtown district where factories abound. On a large brick building was a gilt sign, “Posey &amp; Trimmer, Artificial Flowers.” Below it was hung a newly stretched canvas bearing the words, “Five hundred girls wanted to learn trade. Good wages from the start. Apply one flight up.”</p>
<p>Elsie went on her way. She was soon in the downtown district where factories abound. On a large brick building was a gilt sign, “Posey &amp; Trimmer, Artificial Flowers.” Below it was hung a newly stretched canvas bearing the words, “Five hundred girls wanted to learn trade. Good wages from the start. Apply one flight up.”</p>
<p>Elsie started toward the door, near which were gathered in groups some twenty or thirty girls. One big girl with a black straw hat tipped down over her eyes stepped in front of her.</p>
<p>“Say, youse,” said the girl, “are youse goin in there after a job?”</p>
<p>“Yes,” said Elsie; “I must have work.”</p>
<p>“Now dont do it,” said the girl. “Im chairman of our Scab Committee. Theres 400 of us girls locked out just because we demanded 50 cents a week raise in wages, and ice water, and for the foreman to shave off his mustache. Youre too nice a looking girl to be a scab. Wouldnt you please help us along by trying to find a job somewhere else, or would youse rather have your face pushed in?”</p>
<p>“Ill try somewhere else,” said Elsie.</p>
<p>She walked aimlessly eastward on Broadway, and there her heart leaped to see the sign, “Fox &amp; Otter,” stretching entirely across the front of a tall building. It was as though an unseen guide had led her to it through the byways of her fruitless search for work.</p>
<p>She walked aimlessly eastward on Broadway, and there her heart leaped to see the sign, “Fox &amp; Otter,” stretching entirely across the front of a tall building. It was as though an unseen guide had led her to it through the byways of her fruitless search for work.</p>
<p>She hurried into the store and sent in to <abbr>Mr.</abbr> Otter by a clerk her name and the letter he had written her father. She was shown directly into his private office.</p>
<p><abbr>Mr.</abbr> Otter arose from his desk as Elsie entered and took both hands with a hearty smile of welcome. He was a slightly corpulent man of nearly middle age, a little bald, gold spectacled, polite, well dressed, radiating.</p>
<p>“Well, well, and so this is Beattys little daughter! Your father was one of our most efficient and valued employees. He left nothing? Well, well. I hope we have not forgotten his faithful services. I am sure there is a vacancy now among our models. Oh, it is easy work—nothing easier.”</p>

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<body epub:type="bodymatter z3998:fiction">
<section id="the-buyer-from-cactus-city" epub:type="volume se:short-story">
<h2 epub:type="title">The Buyer from Cactus City</h2>
<p>It is well that hay fever and colds do not obtain in the healthful vicinity of Cactus City, Texas, for the dry goods emporium of Navarro &amp; Platt, situated there, is not to be sneezed at.</p>
<p>Twenty thousand people in Cactus City scatter their silver coin with liberal hands for the things that their hearts desire. The bulk of this semiprecious metal goes to Navarro &amp; Platt. Their huge brick building covers enough ground to graze a dozen head of sheep. You can buy of them a rattlesnake-skin necktie, an automobile or an eighty-five dollar, latest style, ladies tan coat in twenty different shades. Navarro &amp; Platt first introduced pennies west of the Colorado River. They had been ranchmen with business heads, who saw that the world did not necessarily have to cease its revolutions after free grass went out.</p>
<p>It is well that hay fever and colds do not obtain in the healthful vicinity of Cactus City, Texas, for the dry goods emporium of Navarro &amp; Platt, situated there, is not to be sneezed at.</p>
<p>Twenty thousand people in Cactus City scatter their silver coin with liberal hands for the things that their hearts desire. The bulk of this semiprecious metal goes to Navarro &amp; Platt. Their huge brick building covers enough ground to graze a dozen head of sheep. You can buy of them a rattlesnake-skin necktie, an automobile or an eighty-five dollar, latest style, ladies tan coat in twenty different shades. Navarro &amp; Platt first introduced pennies west of the Colorado River. They had been ranchmen with business heads, who saw that the world did not necessarily have to cease its revolutions after free grass went out.</p>
<p>Every Spring, Navarro, senior partner, fifty-five, half Spanish, cosmopolitan, able, polished, had “gone on” to New York to buy goods. This year he shied at taking up the long trail. He was undoubtedly growing older; and he looked at his watch several times a day before the hour came for his siesta.</p>
<p>“John,” he said, to his junior partner, “you shall go on this year to buy the goods.”</p>
<p>Platt looked tired.</p>
<p>“Im told,” said he, “that New York is a plumb dead town; but Ill go. I can take a whirl in San Antone for a few days on my way and have some fun.”</p>
<p>Two weeks later a man in a Texas full dress suit—black frock coat, broad-brimmed soft white hat, and lay-down collar 34 inch high, with black, wrought iron necktie—entered the wholesale cloak and suit establishment of Zizzbaum &amp; Son, on lower Broadway.</p>
<p>Two weeks later a man in a Texas full dress suit—black frock coat, broad-brimmed soft white hat, and lay-down collar 34 inch high, with black, wrought iron necktie—entered the wholesale cloak and suit establishment of Zizzbaum &amp; Son, on lower Broadway.</p>
<p>Old Zizzbaum had the eye of an osprey, the memory of an elephant and a mind that unfolded from him in three movements like the puzzle of the carpenters rule. He rolled to the front like a brunette polar bear, and shook Platts hand.</p>
<p>“And how is the good <abbr>Mr.</abbr> Navarro in Texas?” he said. “The trip was too long for him this year, so? We welcome <abbr>Mr.</abbr> Platt instead.”</p>
<p>“A bulls eye,” said Platt, “and Id give forty acres of unirrigated Pecos County land to know how you did it.”</p>
<p>“I knew,” grinned Zizzbaum, “just as I know that the rainfall in El Paso for the year was 28.5 inches, or an increase of 15 inches, and that therefore Navarro &amp; Platt will buy a $15,000 stock of suits this spring instead of $10,000, as in a dry year. But that will be tomorrow. There is first a cigar in my private office that will remove from your mouth the taste of the ones you smuggle across the Rio Grande and like—because they are smuggled.”</p>
<p>“I knew,” grinned Zizzbaum, “just as I know that the rainfall in El Paso for the year was 28.5 inches, or an increase of 15 inches, and that therefore Navarro &amp; Platt will buy a $15,000 stock of suits this spring instead of $10,000, as in a dry year. But that will be tomorrow. There is first a cigar in my private office that will remove from your mouth the taste of the ones you smuggle across the Rio Grande and like—because they are smuggled.”</p>
<p>It was late in the afternoon and business for the day had ended, Zizzbaum left Platt with a half-smoked cigar, and came out of the private office to Son, who was arranging his diamond scarfpin before a mirror, ready to leave.</p>
<p>“Abey,” he said, “you will have to take <abbr>Mr.</abbr> Platt around tonight and show him things. They are customers for ten years. <abbr>Mr.</abbr> Navarro and I we played chess every moment of spare time when he came. That is good, but <abbr>Mr.</abbr> Platt is a young man and this is his first visit to New York. He should amuse easily.”</p>
<p>“All right,” said Abey, screwing the guard tightly on his pin. “Ill take him on. After hes seen the Flatiron and the head waiter at the Hotel Astor and heard the phonograph play Under the Old Apple Tree itll be half past ten, and <abbr>Mr.</abbr> Texas will be ready to roll up in his blanket. Ive got a supper engagement at 11:30, but hell be all to the <abbr>Mrs.</abbr> Winslow before then.”</p>
<p>The next morning at 10 Platt walked into the store ready to do business. He had a bunch of hyacinths pinned on his lapel. Zizzbaum himself waited on him. Navarro &amp; Platt were good customers, and never failed to take their discount for cash.</p>
<p>The next morning at 10 Platt walked into the store ready to do business. He had a bunch of hyacinths pinned on his lapel. Zizzbaum himself waited on him. Navarro &amp; Platt were good customers, and never failed to take their discount for cash.</p>
<p>“And what did you think of our little town?” asked Zizzbaum, with the fatuous smile of the Manhattanite.</p>
<p>“I shouldnt care to live in it,” said the Texan. “Your son and I knocked around quite a little last night. Youve got good water, but Cactus City is better lit up.”</p>
<p>“Weve got a few lights on Broadway, dont you think, <abbr>Mr.</abbr> Platt?”</p>
<p>“And a good many shadows,” said Platt. “I think I like your horses best. I havent seen a crow-bait since Ive been in town.”</p>
<p>Zizzbaum led him up stairs to show the samples of suits.</p>
<p>“Ask Miss Asher to come,” he said to a clerk.</p>
<p>Miss Asher came, and Platt, of Navarro &amp; Platt, felt for the first time the wonderful bright light of romance and glory descend upon him. He stood still as a granite cliff above the cañon of the Colorado, with his wide-open eyes fixed upon her. She noticed his look and flushed a little, which was contrary to her custom.</p>
<p>Miss Asher was the crack model of Zizzbaum &amp; Son. She was of the blond type known as “medium,” and her measurements even went the required 382542 standard a little better. She had been at Zizzbaums two years, and knew her business. Her eye was bright, but cool; and had she chosen to match her gaze against the optic of the famed basilisk, that fabulous monsters gaze would have wavered and softened first. Incidentally, she knew buyers.</p>
<p>Miss Asher came, and Platt, of Navarro &amp; Platt, felt for the first time the wonderful bright light of romance and glory descend upon him. He stood still as a granite cliff above the cañon of the Colorado, with his wide-open eyes fixed upon her. She noticed his look and flushed a little, which was contrary to her custom.</p>
<p>Miss Asher was the crack model of Zizzbaum &amp; Son. She was of the blond type known as “medium,” and her measurements even went the required 382542 standard a little better. She had been at Zizzbaums two years, and knew her business. Her eye was bright, but cool; and had she chosen to match her gaze against the optic of the famed basilisk, that fabulous monsters gaze would have wavered and softened first. Incidentally, she knew buyers.</p>
<p>“Now, <abbr>Mr.</abbr> Platt,” said Zizzbaum, “I want you to see these princess gowns in the light shades. They will be the thing in your climate. This first, if you please, Miss Asher.”</p>
<p>Swiftly in and out of the dressing-room the prize model flew, each time wearing a new costume and looking more stunning with every change. She posed with absolute self-possession before the stricken buyer, who stood, tongue-tied and motionless, while Zizzbaum orated oilily of the styles. On the models face was her faint, impersonal professional smile that seemed to cover something like weariness or contempt.</p>
<p>When the display was over Platt seemed to hesitate. Zizzbaum was a little anxious, thinking that his customer might be inclined to try elsewhere. But Platt was only looking over in his mind the best building sites in Cactus City, trying to select one on which to build a house for his wife-to-be—who was just then in the dressing-room taking off an evening gown of lavender and tulle.</p>

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<p>“Eighty-first street—let em out, please,” yelled the shepherd in blue.</p>
<p>A flock of citizen sheep scrambled out and another flock scrambled aboard. Ding-ding! The cattle cars of the Manhattan Elevated rattled away, and John Perkins drifted down the stairway of the station with the released flock.</p>
<p>John walked slowly toward his flat. Slowly, because in the lexicon of his daily life there was no such word as “perhaps.” There are no surprises awaiting a man who has been married two years and lives in a flat. As he walked John Perkins prophesied to himself with gloomy and downtrodden cynicism the foregone conclusions of the monotonous day.</p>
<p>Katy would meet him at the door with a kiss flavored with cold cream and butterscotch. He would remove his coat, sit upon a macadamized lounge and read, in the evening paper, of Russians and Japs slaughtered by the deadly linotype. For dinner there would be pot roast, a salad flavored with a dressing warranted not to crack or injure the leather, stewed rhubarb and the bottle of strawberry marmalade blushing at the certificate of chemical purity on its label. After dinner Katy would show him the new patch in her crazy quilt that the iceman had cut for her off the end of his four-in-hand. At half-past seven they would spread newspapers over the furniture to catch the pieces of plastering that fell when the fat man in the flat overhead began to take his physical culture exercises. Exactly at eight Hickey &amp; Mooney, of the vaudeville team (unbooked) in the flat across the hall, would yield to the gentle influence of delirium tremens and begin to overturn chairs under the delusion that Hammerstein was pursuing them with a five-hundred-dollar-a-week contract. Then the gent at the window across the air-shaft would get out his flute; the nightly gas leak would steal forth to frolic in the highways; the dumbwaiter would slip off its trolley; the janitor would drive <abbr>Mrs.</abbr> Zanowitskis five children once more across the Yalu, the lady with the champagne shoes and the Skye terrier would trip downstairs and paste her Thursday name over her bell and letter-box—and the evening routine of the Frogmore flats would be under way.</p>
<p>Katy would meet him at the door with a kiss flavored with cold cream and butterscotch. He would remove his coat, sit upon a macadamized lounge and read, in the evening paper, of Russians and Japs slaughtered by the deadly linotype. For dinner there would be pot roast, a salad flavored with a dressing warranted not to crack or injure the leather, stewed rhubarb and the bottle of strawberry marmalade blushing at the certificate of chemical purity on its label. After dinner Katy would show him the new patch in her crazy quilt that the iceman had cut for her off the end of his four-in-hand. At half-past seven they would spread newspapers over the furniture to catch the pieces of plastering that fell when the fat man in the flat overhead began to take his physical culture exercises. Exactly at eight Hickey &amp; Mooney, of the vaudeville team (unbooked) in the flat across the hall, would yield to the gentle influence of delirium tremens and begin to overturn chairs under the delusion that Hammerstein was pursuing them with a five-hundred-dollar-a-week contract. Then the gent at the window across the air-shaft would get out his flute; the nightly gas leak would steal forth to frolic in the highways; the dumbwaiter would slip off its trolley; the janitor would drive <abbr>Mrs.</abbr> Zanowitskis five children once more across the Yalu, the lady with the champagne shoes and the Skye terrier would trip downstairs and paste her Thursday name over her bell and letter-box—and the evening routine of the Frogmore flats would be under way.</p>
<p>John Perkins knew these things would happen. And he knew that at a quarter past eight he would summon his nerve and reach for his hat, and that his wife would deliver this speech in a querulous tone:</p>
<p>“Now, where are you going, Id like to know, John Perkins?”</p>
<p>“Thought Id drop up to McCloskeys,” he would answer, “and play a game or two of pool with the fellows.”</p>