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Tweak semantics

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Alex Cabal 2021-07-22 11:20:17 -05:00
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<p>“ ‘I’m to be shot in two weeks,’ says I. ‘And although I’ve made a memorandum of it, I don’t seem to get it off my mind. You want to call up Uncle Sam on the cable as quick as you can and get him all worked up about it. Have ’em send the <i epub:type="se:name.vessel.ship">Kentucky</i> and the <i epub:type="se:name.vessel.ship">Kearsarge</i> and the <i epub:type="se:name.vessel.ship">Oregon</i> down right away. That’ll be about enough battleships; but it wouldn’t hurt to have a couple of cruisers and a torpedo-boat destroyer, too. And⁠—say, if Dewey isn’t busy, better have him come along on the fastest one of the fleet.’</p>
<p>“ ‘Now, see here, O’Keefe,’ says the consul, getting the best of a hiccup, ‘what do you want to bother the State Department about this matter for?’</p>
<p>“ ‘Didn’t you hear me?’ says I; ‘I’m to be shot in two weeks. Did you think I said I was going to a lawn-party? And it wouldn’t hurt of Roosevelt could get the Japs to send down the <i epub:type="se:name.vessel.ship">Yellowyamtiskookum</i> or the <i epub:type="se:name.vessel.ship">Ogotosingsing</i> or some other first-class cruisers to help. It would make me feel safer.’</p>
<p>“ ‘Now, what you want,’ says the consul, ‘is not to get excited. I’ll send you over some chewing tobacco and some banana fritters when I go back. The United States can’t interfere in this. You know you were caught insurging against the government, and you’re subject to the laws of this country. To tell the truth, I’ve had an intimation from the State Department⁠—unofficially, of course⁠—that whenever a soldier of fortune demands a fleet of gunboats in a case of revolutionary <i epub:type="se:name.vessel.ship">katzenjammer</i>, I should cut the cable, give him all the tobacco he wants, and after he’s shot take his clothes, if they fit me, for part payment of my salary.’</p>
<p>“ ‘Now, what you want,’ says the consul, ‘is not to get excited. I’ll send you over some chewing tobacco and some banana fritters when I go back. The United States can’t interfere in this. You know you were caught insurging against the government, and you’re subject to the laws of this country. To tell the truth, I’ve had an intimation from the State Department⁠—unofficially, of course⁠—that whenever a soldier of fortune demands a fleet of gunboats in a case of revolutionary <i xml:lang="de">katzenjammer</i>, I should cut the cable, give him all the tobacco he wants, and after he’s shot take his clothes, if they fit me, for part payment of my salary.’</p>
<p>“ ‘Consul,’ says I to him, ‘this is a serious question. You are representing Uncle Sam. This ain’t any little international tomfoolery, like a universal peace congress or the christening of the <i epub:type="se:name.vessel.ship">Shamrock <span epub:type="z3998:roman">IV</span></i>. I’m an American citizen and I demand protection. I demand the Mosquito fleet, and Schley, and the Atlantic squadron, and Bob Evans, and General <abbr epub:type="z3998:given-name">E.</abbr> Byrd Grubb, and two or three protocols. What are you going to do about it?’</p>
<p>“ ‘Nothing doing,’ says the consul.</p>
<p>“ ‘Be off with you, then,’ says I, out of patience with him, ‘and send me Doc Millikin. Ask Doc to come and see me.’</p>