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<p>This scheme of mine was one that suited my proclivities. By nature I am some sentimental, and have always felt gentle toward the mollifying elements of existence. I am disposed to be lenient with the arts and sciences; and I find time to instigate a cordiality for the more human works of nature, such as romance and the atmosphere and grass and poetry and the Seasons. I never skin a sucker without admiring the prismatic beauty of his scales. I never sell a little auriferous beauty to the man with the hoe without noticing the beautiful harmony there is between gold and green. And that’s why I liked this scheme; it was so full of outdoor air and landscapes and easy money.</p>
<p>We had to have a young lady assistant to help us work this graft; and I asked Buck if he knew of one to fill the bill.</p>
<p>“One,” says I, “that is cool and wise and strictly business from her pompadour to her Oxfords. No ex-toe-dancers or gum-chewers or crayon portrait canvassers for this.”</p>
<p>Buck claimed he knew a suitable feminine and he takes me around to see Miss Sarah Malloy. The minute I see her I am pleased. She looked to be the goods as ordered. No sign of the three p’s about her⁠—no peroxide, patchouli, nor peau de soie; about twenty-two, brown hair, pleasant ways⁠—the kind of a lady for the place.</p>
<p>Buck claimed he knew a suitable feminine and he takes me around to see Miss Sarah Malloy. The minute I see her I am pleased. She looked to be the goods as ordered. No sign of the three <i epub:type="z3998:grapheme">p</i>’s about her⁠—no peroxide, patchouli, nor peau de soie; about twenty-two, brown hair, pleasant ways⁠—the kind of a lady for the place.</p>
<p>“A description of the sandbag, if you please,” she begins.</p>
<p>“Why, ma’am,” says I, “this graft of ours is so nice and refined and romantic, it would make the balcony scene in ‘Romeo and Juliet’ look like second-story work.”</p>
<p>We talked it over, and Miss Malloy agreed to come in as a business partner. She said she was glad to get a chance to give up her place as stenographer and secretary to a suburban lot company, and go into something respectable.</p>