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Replace .signature class with z3998:signature epub:type
This commit is contained in:
Alex Cabal
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@ -138,11 +138,11 @@ p span.i3{
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}
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#queries-and-answers p.signature{
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#queries-and-answers p[epub:type~="z3998:signature"]{
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text-align: right;
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}
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.signature{
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[epub:type~="z3998:signature"]{
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font-variant: small-caps;
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}
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@ -18,7 +18,7 @@
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<p>Lena raised the lid of an old empty case that had once contained canned corn and got out a sheet of paper and a piece of pencil. She was going to write a letter to her mamma. Tommy Ryan was going to post it for her at Ballinger’s. Tommy was seventeen, worked in the quarries, went home to Ballinger’s every night, and was now waiting in the shadows under Lena’s window for her to throw the letter out to him. That was the only way she could send a letter to Fredericksburg. <abbr>Mrs.</abbr> Maloney did not like for her to write letters.</p>
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<p>The stump of the candle was burning low, so Lena hastily bit the wood from around the lead of her pencil and began. This is the letter she wrote:</p>
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<blockquote epub:type="z3998:letter">
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<p><span epub:type="z3998:salutation">Dearest Mamma:</span>—I want so much to see you. And Gretel and Claus and Heinrich and little Adolf. I am so tired. I want to see you. Today I was slapped by <abbr>Mrs.</abbr> Maloney and had no supper. I could not bring in enough wood, for my hand hurt. She took my book yesterday. I mean “Grimm’s Fairy Tales,” which Uncle Leo gave me. It did not hurt anyone for me to read the book. I try to work as well as I can, but there is so much to do. I read only a little bit every night. Dear mamma, I shall tell you what I am going to do. Unless you send for me tomorrow to bring me home I shall go to a deep place I know in the river and drown. It is wicked to drown, I suppose, but I wanted to see you, and there is no one else. I am very tired, and Tommy is waiting for the letter. You will excuse me, mamma, if I do it. <span epub:type="z3998:valediction">Your respectful and loving daughter,</span> <span class="signature">Lena</span>.</p>
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<p><span epub:type="z3998:salutation">Dearest Mamma:</span>—I want so much to see you. And Gretel and Claus and Heinrich and little Adolf. I am so tired. I want to see you. Today I was slapped by <abbr>Mrs.</abbr> Maloney and had no supper. I could not bring in enough wood, for my hand hurt. She took my book yesterday. I mean “Grimm’s Fairy Tales,” which Uncle Leo gave me. It did not hurt anyone for me to read the book. I try to work as well as I can, but there is so much to do. I read only a little bit every night. Dear mamma, I shall tell you what I am going to do. Unless you send for me tomorrow to bring me home I shall go to a deep place I know in the river and drown. It is wicked to drown, I suppose, but I wanted to see you, and there is no one else. I am very tired, and Tommy is waiting for the letter. You will excuse me, mamma, if I do it. <span epub:type="z3998:valediction">Your respectful and loving daughter,</span> <span epub:type="z3998:signature">Lena</span>.</p>
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</blockquote>
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<p>Tommy was still waiting faithfully when the letter was concluded, and when Lena dropped it out she saw him pick it up and start up the steep hillside. Without undressing she blew out the candle and curled herself upon the mattress on the floor.</p>
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<p>At 10:30 o’clock old man Ballinger came out of his house in his stocking feet and leaned over the gate, smoking his pipe. He looked down the big road, white in the moonshine, and rubbed one ankle with the toe of his other foot. It was time for the Fredericksburg mail to come pattering up the road.</p>
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@ -81,7 +81,7 @@
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</header>
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<p>I beg permission to inform you that there is in my house as a temporary guest a young man who arrived in Buenas Tierras from the United States some days ago. Without wishing to excite any hopes that may not be realized, I think there is a possibility of his being your long-absent son. It might be well for you to call and see him. If he is, it is my opinion that his intention was to return to his home, but upon arriving here, his courage failed him from doubts as to how he would be received. <span epub:type="z3998:valediction">Your true servant,</span></p>
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<footer>
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<p class="signature">Thompson Thacker.</p>
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<p epub:type="z3998:signature">Thompson Thacker.</p>
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</footer>
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</blockquote>
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<p>Half an hour afterward—quick time for Buenas Tierras—Señor Urique’s ancient landau drove to the consul’s door, with the barefooted coachman beating and shouting at the team of fat, awkward horses.</p>
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@ -60,7 +60,7 @@
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<blockquote epub:type="z3998:letter">
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<p><span epub:type="z3998:salutation">My Dear, Dear Husband</span>: Just received your letter ordering us to stay another month. … Rita’s cough is almost gone. … Johnny has simply gone wild like a little Indian … Will be the making of both children … work so hard, and I know that your business can hardly afford to keep us here so long … best man that ever … you always pretend that you like the city in summer … trout fishing that you used to be so fond of … and all to keep us well and happy … come to you if it were not doing the babies so much good. … I stood last evening on Chimney Rock in exactly the same spot where I was when you put the wreath of roses on my head … through all the world … when you said you would be my true knight … fifteen years ago, dear, just think! … have always been that to me … ever and ever,</p>
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<footer>
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<p class="signature">Mary.</p>
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<p epub:type="z3998:signature">Mary.</p>
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</footer>
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</blockquote>
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<p>The man who said he thought New York the finest summer resort in the country dropped into a café on his way home and had a glass of beer under an electric fan.</p>
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@ -23,7 +23,7 @@
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</blockquote>
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</header>
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<blockquote>
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<p>Fancy a novel about Chicago or Buffalo, let us say, or Nashville, Tennessee! There are just three big cities in the United States that are “story cities”—New York, of course, New Orleans, and, best of the lot, San Francisco.—<span class="signature">Frank Norris</span>.</p>
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<p>Fancy a novel about Chicago or Buffalo, let us say, or Nashville, Tennessee! There are just three big cities in the United States that are “story cities”—New York, of course, New Orleans, and, best of the lot, San Francisco.—<span epub:type="z3998:signature">Frank Norris</span>.</p>
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</blockquote>
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<p>East is East, and West is San Francisco, according to Californians. Californians are a race of people; they are not merely inhabitants of a State. They are the Southerners of the West. Now, Chicagoans are no less loyal to their city; but when you ask them why, they stammer and speak of lake fish and the new Odd Fellows Building. But Californians go into detail.</p>
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<p>Of course they have, in the climate, an argument that is good for half an hour while you are thinking of your coal bills and heavy underwear. But as soon as they come to mistake your silence for conviction, madness comes upon them, and they picture the city of the Golden Gate as the Bagdad of the New World. So far, as a matter of opinion, no refutation is necessary. But, dear cousins all (from Adam and Eve descended), it is a rash one who will lay his finger on the map and say: “In this town there can be no romance—what could happen here?” Yes, it is a bold and a rash deed to challenge in one sentence history, romance, and Rand and McNally.</p>
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@ -19,7 +19,7 @@
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<blockquote epub:type="z3998:letter">
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<p><span epub:type="z3998:salutation">Dear Jack</span>:—Forgive me. You were right. Meet me corner Madison and ⸺th at 8:30 this morning. We leave at noon.</p>
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<footer>
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<p class="signature">Penitent.</p>
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<p epub:type="z3998:signature">Penitent.</p>
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</footer>
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</blockquote>
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<p>At 8 o’clock a young man with a haggard look and the feverish gleam of unrest in his eye dropped a penny and picked up the top paper as he passed Giuseppi’s stand. A sleepless night had left him a late riser. There was an office to be reached by nine, and a shave and a hasty cup of coffee to be crowded into the interval.</p>
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@ -61,10 +61,10 @@
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<p>Do come around this evening—there’s a dear boy—and take me out somewhere. Mamma has a headache, and says she’ll be glad to be rid of both of us for a while. ’Twas so sweet of you to send those pond lilies—they’re just what I wanted for the east windows. You darling boy—you’re so thoughtful and good—I’m sure you’re worth all the love of</p>
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<footer>
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<p epub:type="z3998:valediction">Your very own</p>
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<p class="signature">Annabel.</p>
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<p epub:type="z3998:signature">Annabel.</p>
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<p epub:type="z3998:postscript"><abbr class="initialism">P.S.</abbr>—On second thoughts, I will ask you not to call this evening, as I shall be otherwise engaged. Perhaps it has never occurred to you that there may be two opinions about the vast pleasure you seem to think your society affords others. Clothes and the small talk of clubhouses and racetracks hardly ever succeed in making a man without other accessories.</p>
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<p epub:type="z3998:valediction">Very respectfully,</p>
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<p class="signature">Annabel Rankin.</p>
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<p epub:type="z3998:signature">Annabel Rankin.</p>
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</footer>
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</blockquote>
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<p>Being deprived of the aid of his consolation cylinders, <abbr class="name">T.</abbr> Ripley Ashburton sat, gloomy, revolving things in his mind.</p>
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@ -46,7 +46,7 @@
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<p>I want you to be at Sullivan’s place, in Little Rock, next Wednesday night, at nine o’clock. I want you to wind up some little matters for me. And, also, I want to make you a present of my kit of tools. I know you’ll be glad to get them—you couldn’t duplicate the lot for a thousand dollars. Say, Billy, I’ve quit the old business—a year ago. I’ve got a nice store. I’m making an honest living, and I’m going to marry the finest girl on earth two weeks from now. It’s the only life, Billy—the straight one. I wouldn’t touch a dollar of another man’s money now for a million. After I get married I’m going to sell out and go West, where there won’t be so much danger of having old scores brought up against me. I tell you, Billy, she’s an angel. She believes in me; and I wouldn’t do another crooked thing for the whole world. Be sure to be at Sully’s, for I must see you. I’ll bring along the tools with me.</p>
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<footer>
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<p epub:type="z3998:valediction">Your old friend,</p>
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<p class="signature">Jimmy.</p>
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<p epub:type="z3998:signature">Jimmy.</p>
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</footer>
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</blockquote>
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<p>On the Monday night after Jimmy wrote this letter, Ben Price jogged unobtrusively into Elmore in a livery buggy. He lounged about town in his quiet way until he found out what he wanted to know. From the drugstore across the street from Spencer’s shoe-store he got a good look at Ralph <abbr class="name">D.</abbr> Spencer.</p>
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@ -43,7 +43,7 @@
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<blockquote epub:type="z3998:letter">
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<p><span epub:type="z3998:salutation">Bob</span>: I was at the appointed place on time. When you struck the match to light your cigar I saw it was the face of the man wanted in Chicago. Somehow I couldn’t do it myself, so I went around and got a plainclothes man to do the job.</p>
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<footer>
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<p class="signature">Jimmy.</p>
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<p epub:type="z3998:signature">Jimmy.</p>
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</footer>
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</blockquote>
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</article>
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@ -34,7 +34,7 @@
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<p><span epub:type="z3998:salutation">Dear <abbr>Dr.</abbr> Arnold</span>: I want to thank you for your most kind and opportune aid to my daughter last Friday evening, when she was overcome by an attack of her old heart-trouble in the conservatory at <abbr>Mrs.</abbr> Waldron’s reception. Had you not been near to catch her as she fell and to render proper attention, we might have lost her. I would be glad if you would call and undertake the treatment of her case.</p>
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<footer>
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<p epub:type="z3998:valediction">Gratefully yours,</p>
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<p class="signature">Robert Ashburton.</p>
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<p epub:type="z3998:signature">Robert Ashburton.</p>
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</footer>
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</blockquote>
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<p>The young lady refolded the letter, and handed it to the boy.</p>
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@ -73,7 +73,7 @@
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<p>As you are aware, our contract for the year expires with the present month. While regretting the necessity for so doing, we must say that we do not care to renew same for the coming year. We were quite pleased with your style of humor, which seems to have delighted quite a large proportion of our readers. But for the past two months we have noticed a decided falling off in its quality. Your earlier work showed a spontaneous, easy, natural flow of fun and wit. Of late it is labored, studied, and unconvincing, giving painful evidence of hard toil and drudging mechanism.</p>
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<p>Again regretting that we do not consider your contributions available any longer, we are, yours sincerely,</p>
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<footer>
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<p class="signature">The Editor.</p>
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<p epub:type="z3998:signature">The Editor.</p>
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</footer>
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</blockquote>
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<p>I handed this letter to my wife. After she had read it her face grew extremely long, and there were tears in her eyes.</p>
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@ -41,7 +41,7 @@
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<p epub:type="se:letter.dateline"><span epub:type="z3998:recipient"><abbr>Mr.</abbr> Beriah Hoskins</span>, Harmony, Vermont.</p>
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<p><span epub:type="z3998:salutation">Dear Sir</span>: Henceforth, consider me as dead to you forever. I have loved you too well to blight your career by bringing into it my guilty and sin-stained life. I have succumbed to the insidious wiles of this wicked world and have been drawn into the vortex of Bohemia. There is scarcely any depth of glittering iniquity that I have not sounded. It is hopeless to combat my decision. There is no rising from the depths to which I have sunk. Endeavor to forget me. I am lost forever in the fair but brutal maze of awful Bohemia. Farewell.</p>
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<footer>
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<p class="signature">Once Your Medora.</p>
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<p epub:type="z3998:signature">Once Your Medora.</p>
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</footer>
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</blockquote>
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<p>On the next day Medora formed her resolutions. Beelzebub, flung from heaven, was no more cast down. Between her and the apple blossoms of Harmony there was a fixed gulf. Flaming cherubim warded her from the gates of her lost paradise. In one evening, by the aid of Binkley and Mumm, Bohemia had gathered her into its awful midst.</p>
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@ -20,7 +20,7 @@
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<blockquote>
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<p>His Nibs skedaddled yesterday per jackrabbit line with all the coin in the kitty and the bundle of muslin he’s spoony about. The boodle is six figures short. Our crowd in good shape, but we need the spondulicks. You collar it. The main guy and the dry goods are headed for the briny. You know what to do.</p>
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<footer>
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<p class="signature" epub:type="z3998:sender">Bob</p>
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<p epub:type="z3998:signature z3998:sender">Bob</p>
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</footer>
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</blockquote>
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<p>This screed, remarkable as it was, had no mystery for Goodwin. He was the most successful of the small advance-guard of speculative Americans that had invaded Anchuria, and he had not reached that enviable pinnacle without having well exercised the arts of foresight and deduction. He had taken up political intrigue as a matter of business. He was acute enough to wield a certain influence among the leading schemers, and he was prosperous enough to be able to purchase the respect of the petty officeholders. There was always a revolutionary party; and to it he had always allied himself; for the adherents of a new administration received the rewards of their labours. There was now a Liberal party seeking to overturn President Miraflores. If the wheel successfully revolved, Goodwin stood to win a concession to 30,000 manzanas of the finest coffee lands in the interior. Certain incidents in the recent career of President Miraflores had excited a shrewd suspicion in Goodwin’s mind that the government was near a dissolution from another cause than that of a revolution, and now Englehart’s telegram had come as a corroboration of his wisdom.</p>
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<p>I hear there’s one of Uncle Sam’s grayhounds going through you, and that means that we’ll catch him inside of a couple of hours, maybe. Now, I want you to do something for me. We’ve got just $2,200 in the bank, and the law requires that we have $20,000. I let Ross and Fisher have $18,000 late yesterday afternoon to buy up that Gibson bunch of cattle. They’ll realise $40,000 in less than thirty days on the transaction, but that won’t make my cash on hand look any prettier to that bank examiner. Now, I can’t show him those notes, for they’re just plain notes of hand without any security in sight, but you know very well that Pink Ross and Jim Fisher are two of the finest white men God ever made, and they’ll do the square thing. You remember Jim Fisher—he was the one who shot that faro dealer in El Paso. I wired Sam Bradshaw’s bank to send me $20,000, and it will get in on the narrow-gauge at 10:35. You can’t let a bank examiner in to count $2,200 and close your doors. Tom, you hold that examiner. Hold him. Hold him if you have to rope him and sit on his head. Watch our front window after the narrow-gauge gets in, and when we’ve got the cash inside we’ll pull down the shade for a signal. Don’t turn him loose till then. I’m counting on you, Tom.</p>
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<footer>
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<p epub:type="z3998:valediction">Your Old Pard,</p>
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<p class="signature">Bob Buckley</p>
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<p epub:type="z3998:signature">Bob Buckley</p>
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<p>
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<i>Prest. Stockmen’s National</i>
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</p>
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<p><span epub:type="z3998:recipient"><abbr>Mrs.</abbr> Yeager</span>—The Nopalito Ranch: <span epub:type="z3998:salutation">Dear Madam:</span> I am instructed by the owners of the Rancho Seco to purchase 100 head of two and three-year-old cows of the Sussex breed owned by you. If you can fill the order please deliver the cattle to the bearer; and a check will be forwarded to you at once.</p>
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<footer>
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<p epub:type="z3998:valediction">Respectfully,</p>
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<p class="signature">Webster Yeager,</p>
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<p epub:type="z3998:signature">Webster Yeager,</p>
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<p>Manager the Rancho Seco.</p>
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</footer>
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</blockquote>
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<h2 epub:type="title">Holding Up a Train</h2>
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<blockquote epub:type="epigraph">
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<p><b>Note.</b> The man who told me these things was for several years an outlaw in the Southwest and a follower of the pursuit he so frankly describes. His description of the <span xml:lang="la">modus operandi</span> should prove interesting, his counsel of value to the potential passenger in some future “holdup,” while his estimate of the pleasures of train robbing will hardly induce anyone to adopt it as a profession. I give the story in almost exactly his own words.</p>
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<cite class="signature">
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<cite epub:type="z3998:signature">
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<abbr class="name eoc">O. H.</abbr>
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</cite>
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</blockquote>
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<p><span epub:type="z3998:salutation">Gentlemen</span>: This being leap year I arose this morning at daybreak, resolved to utilize every moment of the time possible. Four years ago, I wrote and received some very valuable advice from you in regard to the exercise of the privileges of my sex (female) during the leap year season. I followed your advice strictly, and in the year 1892 proposed marriage to twenty-seven different men. I am still single, but am not to blame for that. I was engaged to three men in 1892, and, but for the unforeseen bad luck, would certainly have married at least one of them. Two of them committed suicide the day before the wedding and the other got his hat and walking cane and went to Patagonia. I see in the papers that the year 1900 will not be a leap year, and I realize that for the next twelve months I have got to carry on a red hot aggressive campaign, as eight more years will decidedly weaken my chances. Any suggestions you may make that will aid me will be appreciated. I enclose my photo. I am nearly thirty-six, and sleep on my left side.</p>
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<footer>
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<p epub:type="z3998:valediction">Faithfully yours,</p>
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<p class="signature">Bettie Louis M⸺</p>
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<p epub:type="z3998:signature">Bettie Louis M⸺</p>
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</footer>
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</blockquote>
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<p>This is an awful subject to speak lightly upon, and the few words of advice we propose giving are sincere and well weighed.</p>
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<p>When you sent me up for four years you made a talk. Among other hard things, you called me a rattlesnake. Maybe I am one—anyhow, you hear me rattling now. One year after I got to the pen, my daughter died of—well, they said it was poverty and the disgrace together. You’ve got a daughter, Judge, and I’m going to make you know how it feels to lose one. And I’m going to bite that district attorney that spoke against me. I’m free now, and I guess I’ve turned to rattlesnake all right. I feel like one. I don’t say much, but this is my rattle. Look out when I strike.</p>
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<footer>
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<p epub:type="z3998:valediction">Yours respectfully,</p>
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<p class="signature">Rattlesnake.</p>
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<p epub:type="z3998:signature">Rattlesnake.</p>
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</footer>
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</blockquote>
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<p>Judge Derwent threw the letter carelessly aside. It was nothing new to receive such epistles from desperate men whom he had been called upon to judge. He felt no alarm. Later on he showed the letter to Littlefield, the young district attorney, for Littlefield’s name was included in the threat, and the judge was punctilious in matters between himself and his fellow men.</p>
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<blockquote epub:type="z3998:letter">
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<p>“<span epub:type="z3998:salutation">Dear Shackleford</span>: By the time you get this I will be about a hundred miles away and still a-going. I’ve got a place in the chorus of the Occidental Opera <abbr>Co.</abbr>, and we start on the road today at twelve o’clock. I didn’t want to starve to death, and so I decided to make my own living. I’m not coming back. <abbr>Mrs.</abbr> Westbrook is going with me. She said she was tired of living with a combination phonograph, iceberg and dictionary, and she’s not coming back, either. We’ve been practising the songs and dances for two months on the quiet. I hope you will be successful, and get along all right! Goodbye.</p>
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<footer>
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<p epub:type="z3998:sender">“<span class="signature">Louise</span>.”</p>
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<p epub:type="z3998:sender">“<span epub:type="z3998:signature">Louise</span>.”</p>
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</footer>
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</blockquote>
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<p>Dawe dropped the letter, covered his face with his trembling hands, and cried out in a deep, vibrating voice:</p>
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<h2 epub:type="title">Queries and Answers</h2>
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<blockquote>
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<p>Can you inform me where I can buy an interest in a newspaper of some kind? I have some money and would be glad to invest it in something of the sort, if someone would allow me to put in my capital against his experience.</p>
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<p class="signature">College Graduate.</p>
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<p epub:type="z3998:signature">College Graduate.</p>
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</blockquote>
|
||||
<p>Telegraph us your address at once, day message. Keep telegraphing every ten minutes at our expense until we see you. Will start on first train after receiving your wire.</p>
|
||||
<hr/>
|
||||
<blockquote>
|
||||
<p>Who was the author of the line, “Breathes there a man with soul so dead?”</p>
|
||||
<p class="signature">G. F.</p>
|
||||
<p epub:type="z3998:signature">G. F.</p>
|
||||
</blockquote>
|
||||
<p>This was written by a visitor to the State Saengerfest of 1892 while conversing with a member who had just eaten a large slice of limburger cheese.</p>
|
||||
<hr/>
|
||||
<blockquote>
|
||||
<p>Where can I get the “Testimony of the Rocks”?</p>
|
||||
<p class="signature">Geologist.</p>
|
||||
<p epub:type="z3998:signature">Geologist.</p>
|
||||
</blockquote>
|
||||
<p>See the reports of the campaign committees after the election in November.</p>
|
||||
<hr/>
|
||||
<blockquote>
|
||||
<p>Please state what the seven wonders of the world are. I know five of them, I think, but can’t find out the other two.</p>
|
||||
<p class="signature">Scholar.</p>
|
||||
<p epub:type="z3998:signature">Scholar.</p>
|
||||
</blockquote>
|
||||
<p>The Temple of Diana, at Lexington, Ky.; the Great Wall of China; Judge Von Rosenberg (the Colossus of Roads); the Hanging Gardens at Albany; a San Antonio Sunday school; <abbr>Mrs.</abbr> Frank Leslie, and the Populist party.</p>
|
||||
<hr/>
|
||||
<blockquote>
|
||||
<p>What day did Christmas come on in the year 1847?</p>
|
||||
<p class="signature">Constant Reader.</p>
|
||||
<p epub:type="z3998:signature">Constant Reader.</p>
|
||||
</blockquote>
|
||||
<p>The 25th of December.</p>
|
||||
<hr/>
|
||||
<blockquote>
|
||||
<p>What does an <abbr class="initialism">F.F.V.</abbr> mean?</p>
|
||||
<p class="signature">Ignorant.</p>
|
||||
<p epub:type="z3998:signature">Ignorant.</p>
|
||||
</blockquote>
|
||||
<p>What does he mean by what? If he takes you by the arm and tells you how much you are like a brother of his in Richmond, he means Feel For Your Vest, for he wants to borrow a five. If he holds his head high and don’t speak to you on the street he means that he already owes you ten and is Following a Fresh Victim.</p>
|
||||
<hr/>
|
||||
<blockquote>
|
||||
<p>Please decide a bet for us. My friend says that the sentence, “The negro bought the watermelon <em>of</em> the farmer” is correct, and I say it should be “The negro bought the watermelon from the farmer.” Which is correct?</p>
|
||||
<p class="signature">R.</p>
|
||||
<p epub:type="z3998:signature">R.</p>
|
||||
</blockquote>
|
||||
<p>Neither. It should read, “The negro stole the watermelon from the farmer.”</p>
|
||||
<hr/>
|
||||
<blockquote>
|
||||
<p>When do the Texas game laws go into effect?</p>
|
||||
<p class="signature">Hunter.</p>
|
||||
<p epub:type="z3998:signature">Hunter.</p>
|
||||
</blockquote>
|
||||
<p>When you sit down at the table.</p>
|
||||
<hr/>
|
||||
<blockquote>
|
||||
<p>Do you know where I can trade a section of fine Panhandle land for a pair of pants with a good title?</p>
|
||||
<p class="signature">Land Agent.</p>
|
||||
<p epub:type="z3998:signature">Land Agent.</p>
|
||||
</blockquote>
|
||||
<p>We do not. You can’t raise anything on land in that section. A man can always raise a dollar on a good pair of pants.</p>
|
||||
<hr/>
|
||||
<blockquote>
|
||||
<p>Name in order the three best newspapers in Texas.</p>
|
||||
<p class="signature">Advertiser.</p>
|
||||
<p epub:type="z3998:signature">Advertiser.</p>
|
||||
</blockquote>
|
||||
<p>Well, the Galveston <i epub:type="se:name.publication.newspaper">News</i> runs about second, and the San Antonio <i epub:type="se:name.publication.newspaper">Express</i> third. Let us hear from you again.</p>
|
||||
<hr/>
|
||||
<blockquote>
|
||||
<p>Has a married woman any rights in Texas?</p>
|
||||
<p class="signature">Prospector.</p>
|
||||
<p epub:type="z3998:signature">Prospector.</p>
|
||||
</blockquote>
|
||||
<p>Hush, <abbr>Mr.</abbr> Prospector. Not quite so loud, if you please. Come up to the office some afternoon, and if everything seems quiet, come inside, and look at our eye, and our suspenders hanging on to one button, and feel the lump on the top of our head. Yes, she has some rights of her own, and everybody else’s she can scoop in.</p>
|
||||
<hr/>
|
||||
@ -81,7 +81,7 @@
|
||||
<hr/>
|
||||
<blockquote>
|
||||
<p>Is the Lakeside Improvement Company making anything out of their own town tract on the lake?</p>
|
||||
<p class="signature">Inquisitive.</p>
|
||||
<p epub:type="z3998:signature">Inquisitive.</p>
|
||||
</blockquote>
|
||||
<p>Yes, lots.</p>
|
||||
</article>
|
||||
|
||||
@ -31,10 +31,10 @@
|
||||
<p>Besides the want above mentioned, there is also a crying need for a brewery, a college of higher mathematics, a coal yard, and a clean and intellectual Punch and Judy show. I have the honour to be, sir,</p>
|
||||
<footer>
|
||||
<p epub:type="z3998:valediction">Your <abbr>Obt.</abbr> Servant,</p>
|
||||
<p class="signature" epub:type="z3998:sender">John De Graffenreid Atwood,</p>
|
||||
<p epub:type="z3998:signature z3998:sender">John De Graffenreid Atwood,</p>
|
||||
<p><abbr class="initialism">U.S.</abbr> Consul at Coralio.</p>
|
||||
<p epub:type="z3998:postscript"><abbr class="initialism">P.S.</abbr>—Hello! Uncle Obadiah. How’s the old burg racking along? What would the government do without you and me? Look out for a green-headed parrot and a bunch of bananas soon, from your old friend</p>
|
||||
<p class="signature" epub:type="z3998:sender">Johnny</p>
|
||||
<p epub:type="z3998:signature z3998:sender">Johnny</p>
|
||||
</footer>
|
||||
</blockquote>
|
||||
<p>“I throw in that postscript,” explained the consul, “so Uncle Obadiah won’t take offence at the official tone of the letter! Now, Billy, you get that correspondence fixed up, and send Pancho to the post-office with it. The <i epub:type="se:name.vessel.ship">Ariadne</i> takes the mail out tomorrow if they make up that load of fruit today.”</p>
|
||||
@ -85,7 +85,7 @@
|
||||
<p>At nine o’clock he walked down to the dingy little cable office and hung for half an hour over a blank. The result of his application was the following message, which he signed and had transmitted at a cost of $33:</p>
|
||||
<blockquote>
|
||||
<p><span epub:type="z3998:salutation">To Pinkney Dawson</span>, Dalesburg, Ala.</p>
|
||||
<p>Draft for $100 comes to you next mail. Ship me immediately 500 pounds stiff, dry cockleburrs. New use here in arts. Market price twenty cents pound. Further orders likely. <span class="signature">Rush.</span></p>
|
||||
<p>Draft for $100 comes to you next mail. Ship me immediately 500 pounds stiff, dry cockleburrs. New use here in arts. Market price twenty cents pound. Further orders likely. <span epub:type="z3998:signature">Rush.</span></p>
|
||||
</blockquote>
|
||||
</article>
|
||||
</body>
|
||||
|
||||
@ -23,7 +23,7 @@
|
||||
<blockquote epub:type="z3998:letter">
|
||||
<p>Watch your wife. She is blowing in your money secretly. I was a sufferer just as you are. The place is <abbr>No.</abbr> 345 Blank Street. A word to the wise, <abbr class="eoc">etc.</abbr></p>
|
||||
<footer>
|
||||
<p class="signature">A Man Who Knows.</p>
|
||||
<p epub:type="z3998:signature">A Man Who Knows.</p>
|
||||
</footer>
|
||||
</blockquote>
|
||||
<p>Turpin took this letter to the captain of police of the precinct that he lived in.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
@ -91,7 +91,7 @@
|
||||
<blockquote epub:type="z3998:letter">
|
||||
<p><span epub:type="z3998:salutation">Dear One:</span> He has come. Hardly had you ridden away when he came out of the pear. When he first talked he said he would stay three days or more. Then as it grew later he was like a wolf or a fox, and walked about without rest, looking and listening. Soon he said he must leave before daylight when it is dark and stillest. And then he seemed to suspect that I be not true to him. He looked at me so strange that I am frightened. I swear to him that I love him, his own Tonia. Last of all he said I must prove to him I am true. He thinks that even now men are waiting to kill him as he rides from my house. To escape he says he will dress in my clothes, my red skirt and the blue waist I wear and the brown mantilla over the head, and thus ride away. But before that he says that I must put on his clothes, his <i xml:lang="es">pantalones</i> and camisa and hat, and ride away on his horse from the <span xml:lang="es">jacal</span> as far as the big road beyond the crossing and back again. This before he goes, so he can tell if I am true and if men are hidden to shoot him. It is a terrible thing. An hour before daybreak this is to be. Come, my dear one, and kill this man and take me for your Tonia. Do not try to take hold of him alive, but kill him quickly. Knowing all, you should do that. You must come long before the time and hide yourself in the little shed near the <span xml:lang="es">jacal</span> where the wagon and saddles are kept. It is dark in there. He will wear my red skirt and blue waist and brown mantilla. I send you a hundred kisses. Come surely and shoot quickly and straight.</p>
|
||||
<footer>
|
||||
<p><span epub:type="z3998:valediction">Thine Own</span> <span class="signature">Tonia</span>.</p>
|
||||
<p><span epub:type="z3998:valediction">Thine Own</span> <span epub:type="z3998:signature">Tonia</span>.</p>
|
||||
</footer>
|
||||
</blockquote>
|
||||
<p>Sandridge quickly explained to his men the official part of the missive. The rangers protested against his going alone.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
@ -64,7 +64,7 @@
|
||||
<p epub:type="z3998:recipient">The New York <i epub:type="se:name.publication.newspaper">Morning Mars</i>:</p>
|
||||
<p>Please pay to the order of John Kernan the one thousand dollars reward coming to me for his arrest and conviction.</p>
|
||||
<footer>
|
||||
<p class="signature">Barnard Woods.</p>
|
||||
<p epub:type="z3998:signature">Barnard Woods.</p>
|
||||
</footer>
|
||||
</blockquote>
|
||||
<p>“I kind of thought they would do that,” said Woods, “when you were jollying them so hard. Now, Johnny, you’ll come to the police station with me.”</p>
|
||||
|
||||
@ -34,7 +34,7 @@
|
||||
<b>Come back and the answer will be yes.</b>
|
||||
</p>
|
||||
<footer>
|
||||
<p class="signature">Dolly.</p>
|
||||
<p epub:type="z3998:signature">Dolly.</p>
|
||||
</footer>
|
||||
</blockquote>
|
||||
<p>He kept the boy waiting ten minutes, and then wrote the reply: “Impossible to leave here at present.” Then he sat at the window again and let the city put its cup of mandragora to his lips again.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
@ -118,7 +118,7 @@
|
||||
<p>There is something else I wanted you to know. I guess you’d better not tell Major Talbot. I was anxious to make him some amends for the great help he was to me in studying the part, and for the bad humour he was in about it. He refused to let me, so I did it anyhow. I could easily spare the three hundred.</p>
|
||||
<footer>
|
||||
<p epub:type="z3998:valediction">Sincerely yours,</p>
|
||||
<p class="signature"><abbr class="name">H.</abbr> Hopkins Hargraves,</p>
|
||||
<p epub:type="z3998:signature"><abbr class="name">H.</abbr> Hopkins Hargraves,</p>
|
||||
<p epub:type="z3998:postscript"><abbr class="initialism">P.S.</abbr> How did I play Uncle Mose?</p>
|
||||
</footer>
|
||||
</blockquote>
|
||||
|
||||
@ -56,7 +56,7 @@
|
||||
<blockquote>
|
||||
<p>The above amount will be paid, and no questions asked, for the return, alive and uninjured, of Beppo, the famous European educated pig, that strayed or was stolen from the sideshow tents of Binkley <abbr>Bros.</abbr>’ circus last night.</p>
|
||||
<footer>
|
||||
<p class="signature"><abbr class="name">Geo. B.</abbr> Tapley, Business Manager.</p>
|
||||
<p epub:type="z3998:signature"><abbr class="name">Geo. B.</abbr> Tapley, Business Manager.</p>
|
||||
<p>At the circus grounds.</p>
|
||||
</footer>
|
||||
</blockquote>
|
||||
|
||||
@ -17,7 +17,7 @@
|
||||
<p>“Charming widow, beautiful, home loving, 32 years, possessing $3,000 cash and owning valuable country property, would remarry. Would prefer a poor man with affectionate disposition to one with means, as she realizes that the solid virtues are oftenest to be found in the humble walks of life. No objection to elderly man or one of homely appearance if faithful and true and competent to manage property and invest money with judgment. Address, with particulars.</p>
|
||||
<footer>
|
||||
<p>Lonely,</p>
|
||||
<p class="signature">Care of Peters & Tucker, agents, Cairo, Ill.</p>
|
||||
<p epub:type="z3998:signature">Care of Peters & Tucker, agents, Cairo, Ill.</p>
|
||||
</footer>
|
||||
</blockquote>
|
||||
<p>“ ‘So far, so pernicious,’ says I, when we had finished the literary concoction. ‘And now,’ says I, ‘where is the lady.’</p>
|
||||
|
||||
@ -18,7 +18,7 @@
|
||||
<blockquote>
|
||||
<p>Proceed immediately with your vessel to mouth of Rio Ruiz; transport beef and provisions to barracks at Alforan.</p>
|
||||
<footer>
|
||||
<p class="signature">Martinez, General.</p>
|
||||
<p epub:type="z3998:signature">Martinez, General.</p>
|
||||
</footer>
|
||||
</blockquote>
|
||||
<p>Small glory, to be sure, in this, his country’s first call. But it had called, and joy surged in the admiral’s breast. He drew his cutlass belt to another buckle hole, roused his dozing crew, and in a quarter of an hour <i epub:type="se:name.vessel.ship" xml:lang="es">El Nacional</i> was tacking swiftly down coast in a stiff landward breeze.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
@ -43,11 +43,11 @@
|
||||
<p>Besides the want above mentioned, there is also a crying need for a brewery, a college of higher mathematics, a coal yard, and a clean and intellectual Punch and Judy show. I have the honor to be, sir,</p>
|
||||
<footer>
|
||||
<p epub:type="z3998:valediction">Your <abbr>Obt.</abbr> Servant,</p>
|
||||
<p class="signature" epub:type="z3998:sender">John De Graffenreid Atwood,</p>
|
||||
<p epub:type="z3998:signature z3998:sender">John De Graffenreid Atwood,</p>
|
||||
<p><abbr class="initialism">U.S.</abbr> Consul at Vibora</p>
|
||||
</footer>
|
||||
<p epub:type="z3998:postscript"><abbr class="initialism">P.S.</abbr>—Hello! Uncle Obadiah. How’s the old burg racking along? What would the government do without you and me? Look out for a green-headed parrot and a bunch of bananas soon, from your old friend</p>
|
||||
<p class="signature" epub:type="z3998:sender">Johnny</p>
|
||||
<p epub:type="z3998:signature z3998:sender">Johnny</p>
|
||||
</blockquote>
|
||||
<p>“I throw in that postscript,” explained the consul, “so Uncle Obadiah won’t take offence at the official tone of the letter! Now, Billy, you get that correspondence fixed up and send Pancho to the <i xml:lang="es">estafeta</i> with it. The <i epub:type="se:name.vessel.ship">Ariadne</i> takes the mail out tomorrow if they make up that load of fruit today.”</p>
|
||||
<p>The night programme in Vibora never varied. The recreations of the populace were soporific and flat. The people wandered about, barefoot, aimless, and silent, each with lighted cigar or cigarette. Looking down the dimly lighted ways you seemed to see a threading maze of brunette ghosts tangled with an accompanying procession of insane fireflies. In some houses the thrumming of lugubrious guitars added to the depression of the <i xml:lang="fr">triste</i> night. Giant tree-frogs rattled in the foliage as loudly as the end-man’s “bones” in a minstrel troupe. By nine o’clock the streets were vacant, and all were abed.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
@ -22,7 +22,7 @@
|
||||
<p><span epub:type="z3998:salutation">Dear John</span>: I just had a telegram saying mother is very sick. I am going to take the 4:30 train. Brother Sam is going to meet me at the depot there. There is cold mutton in the ice box. I hope it isn’t her quinzy again. Pay the milkman 50 cents. She had it bad last spring. Don’t forget to write to the company about the gas meter, and your good socks are in the top drawer. I will write tomorrow.</p>
|
||||
<footer>
|
||||
<p epub:type="z3998:valediction">Hastily,</p>
|
||||
<p class="signature">Katy.</p>
|
||||
<p epub:type="z3998:signature">Katy.</p>
|
||||
</footer>
|
||||
</blockquote>
|
||||
<p>Never during their two years of matrimony had he and Katy been separated for a night. John read the note over and over in a dumbfounded way. Here was a break in a routine that had never varied, and it left him dazed.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
@ -64,7 +64,7 @@
|
||||
<p>If you attempt any treachery or fail to comply with our demand as stated, you will never see your boy again.</p>
|
||||
<p>If you pay the money as demanded, he will be returned to you safe and well within three hours. These terms are final, and if you do not accede to them no further communication will be attempted.</p>
|
||||
<footer>
|
||||
<p class="signature">Two Desperate Men.</p>
|
||||
<p epub:type="z3998:signature">Two Desperate Men.</p>
|
||||
</footer>
|
||||
</blockquote>
|
||||
<p>I addressed this letter to Dorset, and put it in my pocket. As I was about to start, the kid comes up to me and says:</p>
|
||||
@ -100,7 +100,7 @@
|
||||
<p epub:type="z3998:recipient">Two Desperate Men.</p>
|
||||
<p><span epub:type="z3998:salutation">Gentlemen</span>: I received your letter today by post, in regard to the ransom you ask for the return of my son. I think you are a little high in your demands, and I hereby make you a counter-proposition, which I am inclined to believe you will accept. You bring Johnny home and pay me two hundred and fifty dollars in cash, and I agree to take him off your hands. You had better come at night, for the neighbours believe he is lost, and I couldn’t be responsible for what they would do to anybody they saw bringing him back. <span epub:type="z3998:valediction">Very respectfully</span>,</p>
|
||||
<footer>
|
||||
<p class="signature">Ebenezer Dorset.</p>
|
||||
<p epub:type="z3998:signature">Ebenezer Dorset.</p>
|
||||
</footer>
|
||||
</blockquote>
|
||||
<p>“Great pirates of Penzance!” says I; “of all the impudent—”</p>
|
||||
|
||||
@ -16,7 +16,7 @@
|
||||
<p><span epub:type="z3998:salutation">My Dear <abbr>Mr.</abbr> Goodwin</span>:—Your communication per <abbr>Messrs.</abbr> Howland and Fourchet, of New Orleans, has reached us. Also their draft on <abbr class="postal">NY</abbr> for $100,000, the amount abstracted from the funds of this company by the late <abbr class="name">J.</abbr> Churchill Wahrfield, its former president. … The officers and directors unite in requesting me to express to you their sincere esteem and thanks for your prompt and much appreciated return of the entire missing sum within two weeks from the time of its disappearance. … Can assure you that the matter will not be allowed to receive the least publicity. … Regret exceedingly the distressing death of <abbr>Mr.</abbr> Wahrfield by his own hand, but … Congratulations on your marriage to Miss Wahrfield … many charms, winning manners, noble and womanly nature and envied position in the best metropolitan society …</p>
|
||||
<footer>
|
||||
<p epub:type="z3998:valediction">Cordially yours,</p>
|
||||
<p class="signature" epub:type="z3998:sender">Lucius <abbr class="name">E.</abbr> Applegate</p>
|
||||
<p epub:type="z3998:signature z3998:sender">Lucius <abbr class="name">E.</abbr> Applegate</p>
|
||||
<p>First Vice-President</p>
|
||||
<p>The Republic Insurance Company.</p>
|
||||
</footer>
|
||||
|
||||
@ -100,7 +100,7 @@
|
||||
<p epub:type="z3998:salutation">To the Gent of de Hous:</p>
|
||||
<p>Dere is five tuff hoboes xcept meself in the vaken lot near de road war de old brick piles is. Dey got me stuck up wid a gun see and I taken dis means of communication. 2 of der lads is gone down to set fire to de cain field below de hous and when yous fellers goes to turn de hoes on it de hole gang is goin to rob de hous of de money yoo gotto pay off wit say git a move on ye say de kid dropt dis sock in der rode tel her mery crismus de same as she told me. Ketch de bums down de rode first and den sen a relefe core to get me out of soke youres truly,</p>
|
||||
<footer>
|
||||
<p class="signature">Whistlen Dick</p>
|
||||
<p epub:type="z3998:signature">Whistlen Dick</p>
|
||||
</footer>
|
||||
</blockquote>
|
||||
<p>There was some quiet, but rapid, mavoeuvring at Bellemeade during the ensuring half hour, which ended in five disgusted and sullen tramps being captured, and locked securely in an outhouse pending the coming of the morning and retribution. For another result, the visiting young gentlemen had secured the unqualified worship of the visiting young ladies by their distinguished and heroic conduct. For still another, behold Whistling Dick, the hero, seated at the planter’s table, feasting upon viands his experience had never before included, and waited upon by admiring femininity in shapes of such beauty and “swellness” that even his ever-full mouth could scarcely prevent him from whistling. He was made to disclose in detail his adventure with the evil gang of Boston Harry, and how he cunningly wrote the note and wrapped it around the stone and placed it at the toe of the stocking, and, watching his chance, sent it silently, with a wonderful centrifugal momentum, like a comet, at one of the big lighted windows of the dining-room.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
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Reference in New Issue
Block a user