[Editorial] 'possum -> possum

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Alex Cabal 2023-06-20 13:19:39 -05:00
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<p>When we begin to move in straight lines and turn sharp corners our natures begin to change. The consequence is that Nature, being more adaptive than Art, tries to conform to its sterner regulations. The result is often a rather curious product—for instance: A prize chrysanthemum, wood alcohol whiskey, a Republican Missouri, cauliflower au gratin, and a New Yorker.</p> <p>When we begin to move in straight lines and turn sharp corners our natures begin to change. The consequence is that Nature, being more adaptive than Art, tries to conform to its sterner regulations. The result is often a rather curious product—for instance: A prize chrysanthemum, wood alcohol whiskey, a Republican Missouri, cauliflower au gratin, and a New Yorker.</p>
<p>Nature is lost quickest in a big city. The cause is geometrical, not moral. The straight lines of its streets and architecture, the rectangularity of its laws and social customs, the undeviating pavements, the hard, severe, depressing, uncompromising rules of all its ways—even of its recreation and sports—coldly exhibit a sneering defiance of the curved line of Nature.</p> <p>Nature is lost quickest in a big city. The cause is geometrical, not moral. The straight lines of its streets and architecture, the rectangularity of its laws and social customs, the undeviating pavements, the hard, severe, depressing, uncompromising rules of all its ways—even of its recreation and sports—coldly exhibit a sneering defiance of the curved line of Nature.</p>
<p>Wherefore, it may be said that the big city has demonstrated the problem of squaring the circle. And it may be added that this mathematical introduction precedes an account of the fate of a Kentucky feud that was imported to the city that has a habit of making its importations conform to its angles.</p> <p>Wherefore, it may be said that the big city has demonstrated the problem of squaring the circle. And it may be added that this mathematical introduction precedes an account of the fate of a Kentucky feud that was imported to the city that has a habit of making its importations conform to its angles.</p>
<p>The feud began in the Cumberland Mountains between the Folwell and the Harkness families. The first victim of the homespun vendetta was a possum dog belonging to Bill Harkness. The Harkness family evened up this dire loss by laying out the chief of the Folwell clan. The Folwells were prompt at repartee. They oiled up their squirrel rifles and made it feasible for Bill Harkness to follow his dog to a land where the possums come down when treed without the stroke of an ax.</p> <p>The feud began in the Cumberland Mountains between the Folwell and the Harkness families. The first victim of the homespun vendetta was a possum dog belonging to Bill Harkness. The Harkness family evened up this dire loss by laying out the chief of the Folwell clan. The Folwells were prompt at repartee. They oiled up their squirrel rifles and made it feasible for Bill Harkness to follow his dog to a land where the possums come down when treed without the stroke of an ax.</p>
<p>The feud flourished for forty years. Harknesses were shot at the plough, through their lamp-lit cabin windows, coming from camp-meeting, asleep, in duello, sober and otherwise, singly and in family groups, prepared and unprepared. Folwells had the branches of their family tree lopped off in similar ways, as the traditions of their country prescribed and authorized.</p> <p>The feud flourished for forty years. Harknesses were shot at the plough, through their lamp-lit cabin windows, coming from camp-meeting, asleep, in duello, sober and otherwise, singly and in family groups, prepared and unprepared. Folwells had the branches of their family tree lopped off in similar ways, as the traditions of their country prescribed and authorized.</p>
<p>By and by the pruning left but a single member of each family. And then Cal Harkness, probably reasoning that further pursuance of the controversy would give a too decided personal flavour to the feud, suddenly disappeared from the relieved Cumberlands, baulking the avenging hand of Sam, the ultimate opposing Folwell.</p> <p>By and by the pruning left but a single member of each family. And then Cal Harkness, probably reasoning that further pursuance of the controversy would give a too decided personal flavour to the feud, suddenly disappeared from the relieved Cumberlands, baulking the avenging hand of Sam, the ultimate opposing Folwell.</p>
<p>A year afterward Sam Folwell learned that his hereditary, unsuppressed enemy was living in New York City. Sam turned over the big iron wash-pot in the yard, scraped off some of the soot, which he mixed with lard and shined his boots with the compound. He put on his store clothes of butternut dyed black, a white shirt and collar, and packed a carpet-sack with Spartan lingerie. He took his squirrel rifle from its hooks, but put it back again with a sigh. However ethical and plausible the habit might be in the Cumberlands, perhaps New York would not swallow his pose of hunting squirrels among the skyscrapers along Broadway. An ancient but reliable Colts revolver that he resurrected from a bureau drawer seemed to proclaim itself the pink of weapons for metropolitan adventure and vengeance. This and a hunting-knife in a leather sheath, Sam packed in the carpet-sack. As he started, muleback, for the lowland railroad station the last Folwell turned in his saddle and looked grimly at the little cluster of white-pine slabs in the clump of cedars that marked the Folwell burying-ground.</p> <p>A year afterward Sam Folwell learned that his hereditary, unsuppressed enemy was living in New York City. Sam turned over the big iron wash-pot in the yard, scraped off some of the soot, which he mixed with lard and shined his boots with the compound. He put on his store clothes of butternut dyed black, a white shirt and collar, and packed a carpet-sack with Spartan lingerie. He took his squirrel rifle from its hooks, but put it back again with a sigh. However ethical and plausible the habit might be in the Cumberlands, perhaps New York would not swallow his pose of hunting squirrels among the skyscrapers along Broadway. An ancient but reliable Colts revolver that he resurrected from a bureau drawer seemed to proclaim itself the pink of weapons for metropolitan adventure and vengeance. This and a hunting-knife in a leather sheath, Sam packed in the carpet-sack. As he started, muleback, for the lowland railroad station the last Folwell turned in his saddle and looked grimly at the little cluster of white-pine slabs in the clump of cedars that marked the Folwell burying-ground.</p>

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<p>For a time the major showed an inclination to discourage the advances of the “play actor,” as he privately termed him; but soon the young mans agreeable manner and indubitable appreciation of the old gentlemans stories completely won him over.</p> <p>For a time the major showed an inclination to discourage the advances of the “play actor,” as he privately termed him; but soon the young mans agreeable manner and indubitable appreciation of the old gentlemans stories completely won him over.</p>
<p>It was not long before the two were like old chums. The major set apart each afternoon to read to him the manuscript of his book. During the anecdotes Hargraves never failed to laugh at exactly the right point. The major was moved to declare to Miss Lydia one day that young Hargraves possessed remarkable perception and a gratifying respect for the old regime. And when it came to talking of those old days—if Major Talbot liked to talk, <abbr>Mr.</abbr> Hargraves was entranced to listen.</p> <p>It was not long before the two were like old chums. The major set apart each afternoon to read to him the manuscript of his book. During the anecdotes Hargraves never failed to laugh at exactly the right point. The major was moved to declare to Miss Lydia one day that young Hargraves possessed remarkable perception and a gratifying respect for the old regime. And when it came to talking of those old days—if Major Talbot liked to talk, <abbr>Mr.</abbr> Hargraves was entranced to listen.</p>
<p>Like almost all old people who talk of the past, the major loved to linger over details. In describing the splendid, almost royal, days of the old planters, he would hesitate until he had recalled the name of the Negro who held his horse, or the exact date of certain minor happenings, or the number of bales of cotton raised in such a year; but Hargraves never grew impatient or lost interest. On the contrary, he would advance questions on a variety of subjects connected with the life of that time, and he never failed to extract ready replies.</p> <p>Like almost all old people who talk of the past, the major loved to linger over details. In describing the splendid, almost royal, days of the old planters, he would hesitate until he had recalled the name of the Negro who held his horse, or the exact date of certain minor happenings, or the number of bales of cotton raised in such a year; but Hargraves never grew impatient or lost interest. On the contrary, he would advance questions on a variety of subjects connected with the life of that time, and he never failed to extract ready replies.</p>
<p>The fox hunts, the possum suppers, the hoe downs and jubilees in the Negro quarters, the banquets in the plantation-house hall, when invitations went for fifty miles around; the occasional feuds with the neighbouring gentry; the majors duel with Rathbone Culbertson about Kitty Chalmers, who afterward married a Thwaite of South Carolina; and private yacht races for fabulous sums on Mobile Bay; the quaint beliefs, improvident habits, and loyal virtues of the old slaves—all these were subjects that held both the major and Hargraves absorbed for hours at a time.</p> <p>The fox hunts, the possum suppers, the hoe downs and jubilees in the Negro quarters, the banquets in the plantation-house hall, when invitations went for fifty miles around; the occasional feuds with the neighbouring gentry; the majors duel with Rathbone Culbertson about Kitty Chalmers, who afterward married a Thwaite of South Carolina; and private yacht races for fabulous sums on Mobile Bay; the quaint beliefs, improvident habits, and loyal virtues of the old slaves—all these were subjects that held both the major and Hargraves absorbed for hours at a time.</p>
<p>Sometimes, at night, when the young man would be coming upstairs to his room after his turn at the theatre was over, the major would appear at the door of his study and beckon archly to him. Going in, Hargraves would find a little table set with a decanter, sugar bowl, fruit, and a big bunch of fresh green mint.</p> <p>Sometimes, at night, when the young man would be coming upstairs to his room after his turn at the theatre was over, the major would appear at the door of his study and beckon archly to him. Going in, Hargraves would find a little table set with a decanter, sugar bowl, fruit, and a big bunch of fresh green mint.</p>
<p>“It occurred to me,” the major would begin—he was always ceremonious—“that perhaps you might have found your duties at the—at your place of occupation—sufficiently arduous to enable you, <abbr>Mr.</abbr> Hargraves, to appreciate what the poet might well have had in his mind when he wrote, tired Natures sweet restorer—one of our Southern juleps.”</p> <p>“It occurred to me,” the major would begin—he was always ceremonious—“that perhaps you might have found your duties at the—at your place of occupation—sufficiently arduous to enable you, <abbr>Mr.</abbr> Hargraves, to appreciate what the poet might well have had in his mind when he wrote, tired Natures sweet restorer—one of our Southern juleps.”</p>
<p>It was a fascination to Hargraves to watch him make it. He took rank among artists when he began, and he never varied the process. With what delicacy he bruised the mint; with what exquisite nicety he estimated the ingredients; with what solicitous care he capped the compound with the scarlet fruit glowing against the dark green fringe! And then the hospitality and grace with which he offered it, after the selected oat straws had been plunged into its tinkling depths!</p> <p>It was a fascination to Hargraves to watch him make it. He took rank among artists when he began, and he never varied the process. With what delicacy he bruised the mint; with what exquisite nicety he estimated the ingredients; with what solicitous care he capped the compound with the scarlet fruit glowing against the dark green fringe! And then the hospitality and grace with which he offered it, after the selected oat straws had been plunged into its tinkling depths!</p>

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<p>“Hes all right now,” says Bill, rolling up his trousers and examining some bruises on his shins. “Were playing Indian. Were making Buffalo Bills show look like magic-lantern views of Palestine in the town hall. Im Old Hank, the Trapper, Red Chiefs captive, and Im to be scalped at daybreak. By Geronimo! that kid can kick hard.”</p> <p>“Hes all right now,” says Bill, rolling up his trousers and examining some bruises on his shins. “Were playing Indian. Were making Buffalo Bills show look like magic-lantern views of Palestine in the town hall. Im Old Hank, the Trapper, Red Chiefs captive, and Im to be scalped at daybreak. By Geronimo! that kid can kick hard.”</p>
<p>Yes, sir, that boy seemed to be having the time of his life. The fun of camping out in a cave had made him forget that he was a captive himself. He immediately christened me Snake-eye, the Spy, and announced that, when his braves returned from the warpath, I was to be broiled at the stake at the rising of the sun.</p> <p>Yes, sir, that boy seemed to be having the time of his life. The fun of camping out in a cave had made him forget that he was a captive himself. He immediately christened me Snake-eye, the Spy, and announced that, when his braves returned from the warpath, I was to be broiled at the stake at the rising of the sun.</p>
<p>Then we had supper; and he filled his mouth full of bacon and bread and gravy, and began to talk. He made a during-dinner speech something like this:</p> <p>Then we had supper; and he filled his mouth full of bacon and bread and gravy, and began to talk. He made a during-dinner speech something like this:</p>
<p>“I like this fine. I never camped out before; but I had a pet possum once, and I was nine last birthday. I hate to go to school. Rats ate up sixteen of Jimmy Talbots aunts speckled hens eggs. Are there any real Indians in these woods? I want some more gravy. Does the trees moving make the wind blow? We had five puppies. What makes your nose so red, Hank? My father has lots of money. Are the stars hot? I whipped Ed Walker twice, Saturday. I dont like girls. You dassent catch toads unless with a string. Do oxen make any noise? Why are oranges round? Have you got beds to sleep on in this cave? Amos Murray has got six toes. A parrot can talk, but a monkey or a fish cant. How many does it take to make twelve?”</p> <p>“I like this fine. I never camped out before; but I had a pet possum once, and I was nine last birthday. I hate to go to school. Rats ate up sixteen of Jimmy Talbots aunts speckled hens eggs. Are there any real Indians in these woods? I want some more gravy. Does the trees moving make the wind blow? We had five puppies. What makes your nose so red, Hank? My father has lots of money. Are the stars hot? I whipped Ed Walker twice, Saturday. I dont like girls. You dassent catch toads unless with a string. Do oxen make any noise? Why are oranges round? Have you got beds to sleep on in this cave? Amos Murray has got six toes. A parrot can talk, but a monkey or a fish cant. How many does it take to make twelve?”</p>
<p>Every few minutes he would remember that he was a pesky redskin, and pick up his stick rifle and tiptoe to the mouth of the cave to rubber for the scouts of the hated paleface. Now and then he would let out a war-whoop that made Old Hank the Trapper shiver. That boy had Bill terrorized from the start.</p> <p>Every few minutes he would remember that he was a pesky redskin, and pick up his stick rifle and tiptoe to the mouth of the cave to rubber for the scouts of the hated paleface. Now and then he would let out a war-whoop that made Old Hank the Trapper shiver. That boy had Bill terrorized from the start.</p>
<p>“Red Chief,” says I to the kid, “would you like to go home?”</p> <p>“Red Chief,” says I to the kid, “would you like to go home?”</p>
<p>“Aw, what for?” says he. “I dont have any fun at home. I hate to go to school. I like to camp out. You wont take me back home again, Snake-eye, will you?”</p> <p>“Aw, what for?” says he. “I dont have any fun at home. I hate to go to school. I like to camp out. You wont take me back home again, Snake-eye, will you?”</p>

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<p>Yank, says Doc Millikin, Ive a good notion to help you. Theres only one government in the world that can get you out of this difficulty; and thats the Confederate States of America, the grandest nation that ever existed.</p> <p>Yank, says Doc Millikin, Ive a good notion to help you. Theres only one government in the world that can get you out of this difficulty; and thats the Confederate States of America, the grandest nation that ever existed.</p>
<p>“Just as you said to me I says to Doc; Why, the Confederacy aint a nation. Its been absolved forty years ago.</p> <p>“Just as you said to me I says to Doc; Why, the Confederacy aint a nation. Its been absolved forty years ago.</p>
<p>Thats a campaign lie, says Doc. Shes running along as solid as the Roman Empire. Shes the only hope youve got. Now, you, being a Yank, have got to go through with some preliminary obsequies before you can get official aid. Youve got to take the oath of allegiance to the Confederate Government. Then Ill guarantee she does all she can for you. What do you say, Yank?—its your last chance.</p> <p>Thats a campaign lie, says Doc. Shes running along as solid as the Roman Empire. Shes the only hope youve got. Now, you, being a Yank, have got to go through with some preliminary obsequies before you can get official aid. Youve got to take the oath of allegiance to the Confederate Government. Then Ill guarantee she does all she can for you. What do you say, Yank?—its your last chance.</p>
<p>If youre fooling with me, Doc, I answers, youre no better than the United States. But as you say its the last chance, hurry up and swear me. I always did like corn whisky and possum anyhow. I believe Im half Southerner by nature. Im willing to try the Klu-klux in place of the khaki. Get brisk.</p> <p>If youre fooling with me, Doc, I answers, youre no better than the United States. But as you say its the last chance, hurry up and swear me. I always did like corn whisky and possum anyhow. I believe Im half Southerner by nature. Im willing to try the Klu-klux in place of the khaki. Get brisk.</p>
<p>“Doc Millikin thinks awhile, and then he offers me this oath of allegiance to take without any kind of a chaser:</p> <p>“Doc Millikin thinks awhile, and then he offers me this oath of allegiance to take without any kind of a chaser:</p>
<p>I, Barnard OKeefe, Yank, being of sound body but a Republican mind, hereby swear to transfer my fealty, respect, and allegiance to the Confederate States of America, and the government thereof in consideration of said government, through its official acts and powers, obtaining my freedom and release from confinement and sentence of death brought about by the exuberance of my Irish proclivities and my general pizenness as a Yank.</p> <p>I, Barnard OKeefe, Yank, being of sound body but a Republican mind, hereby swear to transfer my fealty, respect, and allegiance to the Confederate States of America, and the government thereof in consideration of said government, through its official acts and powers, obtaining my freedom and release from confinement and sentence of death brought about by the exuberance of my Irish proclivities and my general pizenness as a Yank.</p>
<p>“I repeated these words after Doc, but they seemed to me a kind of hocus-pocus; and I dont believe any life-insurance company in the world would have issued me a policy on the strength of em.</p> <p>“I repeated these words after Doc, but they seemed to me a kind of hocus-pocus; and I dont believe any life-insurance company in the world would have issued me a policy on the strength of em.</p>

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<p>I rose and faced <abbr>Mr.</abbr> DeVere.</p> <p>I rose and faced <abbr>Mr.</abbr> DeVere.</p>
<p>“Inhuman monster!” I cried. “You have killed him!”</p> <p>“Inhuman monster!” I cried. “You have killed him!”</p>
<p>He touched a silver bell and another servant appeared.</p> <p>He touched a silver bell and another servant appeared.</p>
<p>“Take this body out and bring me a clean knife,” he commanded. “Resume your seat, Miss Cook. Like all your countrymen, you evince a penchant for dark meat. Mammy, dear, can I send you a choice bit of the possum?”</p> <p>“Take this body out and bring me a clean knife,” he commanded. “Resume your seat, Miss Cook. Like all your countrymen, you evince a penchant for dark meat. Mammy, dear, can I send you a choice bit of the possum?”</p>
<hr/> <hr/>
<p>The next day I met the four DeVere children, and found them very bright and lovable. Two were boys and two girls, ranging from 10 to 16 years of age. The little school house was half a mile away down a beautiful country lane, full of grass and flowers. I had fifteen scholars in my school, and except for a few things my life at Vereton would have been like Paradise. The first month I saved up $42. My salary was $40, and I made the other two by loaning small sums to my scholars for a few days at a time, for which they paid me from 10 to 25 cents interest.</p> <p>The next day I met the four DeVere children, and found them very bright and lovable. Two were boys and two girls, ranging from 10 to 16 years of age. The little school house was half a mile away down a beautiful country lane, full of grass and flowers. I had fifteen scholars in my school, and except for a few things my life at Vereton would have been like Paradise. The first month I saved up $42. My salary was $40, and I made the other two by loaning small sums to my scholars for a few days at a time, for which they paid me from 10 to 25 cents interest.</p>
<p>I took a curious interest in studying the character of Aubrey DeVere. His was one of the noblest and grandest natures I had ever known, but it was so far influenced by the traditions and customs of the people with whom he had lived, that scarcely a vestige of its natural good remained.</p> <p>I took a curious interest in studying the character of Aubrey DeVere. His was one of the noblest and grandest natures I had ever known, but it was so far influenced by the traditions and customs of the people with whom he had lived, that scarcely a vestige of its natural good remained.</p>