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translating by valoniakim
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How allowing myself to be vulnerable made me a better leader
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======
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Conventional wisdom suggests that leadership is strong, bold, decisive. In my experience, leadership does feel like that some days.
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Some days leadership feels more vulnerable. Doubts creep in: Am I making good decisions? Am I the right person for this job? Am I focusing on the most important things?
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The trick with these moments is to talk about these moments. When we keep them secret, our insecurity only grows. Being an open leader means pushing our vulnerability into the spotlight. Only then can we seek comfort from others who have experienced similar moments.
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To demonstrate how this works, I'll share a story.
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### A nagging question
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If you work in the tech industry, you'll note an obvious focus on creating [an organization that's inclusive][1]--a place for diversity to flourish. Long story short: I thought I was a "diversity hire," someone hired because of my gender, not my ability. Even after more than 15 years in the industry, with all of the focus on diversity in hiring, that possibility got under my skin. Along came the doubts: Was I hired because I was the best person for the job--or because I was a woman? After years of knowing I was hired because I was the best person, the fact that I was female suddenly seemed like it was more interesting to potential employers.
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I rationalized that it didn't matter why I was hired; I knew I was the best person for the job and would prove it. I worked hard, delivered results, made mistakes, learned, and did everything an employer would want from an employee.
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And yet the "diversity hire" question nagged. I couldn't shake it. I avoided the subject like the plague and realized that not talking about it was a signal that I had no choice but to deal with it. If I continued to avoid the subject, it was going to affect my work. And that's the last thing I wanted.
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### Speaking up
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Talking about diversity and inclusion can be awkward. So many factors enter into the decision to open up:
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* Can we trust our co-workers with a vulnerable moment?
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* Can a leader of a team be too vulnerable?
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* What if I overstep? Do I damage my career?
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In my case, I ended up at a lunch Q&A session with an executive who's a leader in many areas of the organization--especially candid conversations. A coworker asked the "Was I a diversity hire?" question. He stopped and spent a significant amount of time talking about this question to a room full of women. I'm not going to recount the entire discussion here; I will share the most salient point: If you know you're qualified for the job and you know the interview went well, don't doubt the outcome. Anyone who questions whether you're a diversity hire has their own questions to answer. You don't have to go on their journey.
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Mic drop.
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I wish I could say that I stopped thinking about this topic. I didn't. The question lingered: What if I am the exception to the rule? What if I was the one diversity hire? I realized that I couldn't avoid the nagging question.
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Because I had the courage to be vulnerable--to go there with my question--I had the burden of my secret question lifted.
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A few weeks later I had a one-on-one with the executive. At the end of conversation, I mentioned that, as a woman, I appreciate his candid conversations about diversity and inclusion. It's easier to talk about these topics when a recognized leader is willing to have the conversation. I also returned to the "Was I a diversity hire? question. He didn't hesitate: We talked. At the end of the conversation, I realized that I was hungry to talk about these things that require bravery; I only needed a nudge and someone who cared enough to talk and listen.
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Because I had the courage to be vulnerable--to go there with my question--I had the burden of my secret question lifted. Feeling physically lighter, I started to have constructive conversations around the questions of implicit bias, what we can do to be inclusive, and what diversity looks like. As I've learned, every person has a different answer when I ask the diversity question. I wouldn't have gotten to have all of these amazing conversations if I'd stayed stuck with my secret.
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I had courage to talk, and I hope you will too.
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Let's talk about these things that hold us back in terms of our ability to lead so we can be more open leaders in every sense of the phrase. Has allowing yourself to be vulnerable made you a better leader?
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### About The Author
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Angela Robertson;Angela Robertson Works As A Senior Manager At Microsoft. She Works With An Amazing Team Of People Passionate About Community Contributions;Engaged In Open Organizations. Before Joining Microsoft;Angela Worked At Red Hat
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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via: https://opensource.com/article/17/12/how-allowing-myself-be-vulnerable-made-me-better-leader
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作者：[Angela Robertson][a]
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译者：[译者ID](https://github.com/译者ID)
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校对：[校对者ID](https://github.com/校对者ID)
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本文由 [LCTT](https://github.com/LCTT/TranslateProject) 原创编译，[Linux中国](https://linux.cn/) 荣誉推出
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[a]:https://opensource.com/users/arobertson98
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[1]:https://opensource.com/open-organization/17/9/building-for-inclusivity
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怎样通过示弱增强领导力
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======
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传统观念中的领导者总是强壮、大胆、果决的。我也确实见过一些拥有这些特点的领导者。但更多时候，领导者也许看起来比传统印象中的领导者要更脆弱些，他们内心有很多这样的疑问：我的决策正确吗？我真的适合这个职位吗？我有没有在做最该做的事情？
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解决这些问题的方法是把问题说出来。把问题憋在心里只会助长它们，一名开明的领导者更倾向于把自己的脆弱之处暴露出来，这样我们才能从有过相同经验的人那里得到慰藉。
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为了证明这个观点，我来讲一个故事。
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### 一个扰人的想法
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假如你在教育领域工作，你会发现发现大家更倾向于创造[一个包容性的环境][1]——一个鼓励多样性繁荣发展的环境。长话短说，我一直以来都认为自己是出于营造包容性环境的考量，而进行的“多样性雇佣”，意思就是人事雇佣我看重的是我的性别而非能力，这个想法一直困扰着我。随之而来的开始自我怀疑：我真的是这个岗位的最佳人选吗？还是只是因为我是个女人？许多年来，我都认为公司雇佣我是因为我的能力最好。但如今却发现，对那些雇主们来说，与我的能力相比，他们似乎更关注我的性别。
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我开解自己道，我到底是因为什么被雇佣并不重要，我知道我是这个职位的最佳人选而且我会用实际行动去证明。我工作很努力，达到过预期，也犯过错，也收获了很多，我做了一个老板想要自己雇员做的一切事情。
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但那个“多样性雇佣”问题的阴影并未因此散去。我无法摆脱它，甚至回避一切与之相关的话题如蛇蝎，最终意识到自己拒绝谈论它意味着我能做的只有直面它。如果我继续回避这个问题，早晚会影响到我的工作，这是我最不希望看到的。
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### 倾诉心中的困扰
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直接谈论多样性和包容性这个话题有点尴尬，在进行自我剖析之前有几个问题需要考虑：
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* 我们能够相信我们的同事，能够在他们面前表露脆弱吗？
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* 一个团队的领导者在同事面前表露脆弱合适吗？
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* 如果我玩脱了呢？会不会影响我的工作？
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于是我和一位主管在午餐时间进行了一场小型的 Q&A 会议，这位主管负责着集团很多领域，并且以正直坦率著称。一位女同事问他，“我是因为多样性才被招进来的吗？”，他停下手头工作花了很长时间和一屋子女性员工解释了这件事，我不想复述他讲话的全部内容，我只说对我触动最大的几句：如果你知道自己能够胜任这个职位，并且面试很顺利，那么不必质疑招聘的结果。每个怀疑自己是因为多样性雇佣进公司的人私下都有自己的问题，你不必重蹈他们的覆辙。
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完毕。
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我很希望我能由衷地说我放下这个问题了，但事实上我没有。这问题挥之不去：万一我就是被破格录取的那个呢？万一我就是多样性雇佣的那个呢？我认识到我不能避免地反复思考这些问题。
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几周后我和这位主管进行了一次一对一谈话，在谈话的末尾，我提到作为一位女性，自己很欣赏他那番对于多样性和包容性的坦率发言。当得知领导很有交流的意愿时，谈论这种话题变得轻松许多。我也向他提出了最初的问题，“我是因为多样性才被雇佣的吗？”，他回答得很干脆：“我们谈论过这个问题。”谈话后我意识到，我急切地想找人谈论这些需要勇气的问起，其实只是因为我需要有一个人的关心、倾听和好言劝说。
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但正因为我有展露脆弱的勇气——去和那位主管谈论我的问题——我承受我的秘密困扰的能力提高了。我觉得身轻如燕，我开始组织各种对话，主要围绕着内隐偏见及其引起的一系列问题、怎样增加自身的包容性，和多样性的表现等。通过这些经历，我发现每个人对于多样性都有不同的认识，如果我只囿于自己的秘密，我不会有机会组织参与这些精彩的对话。
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我有谈论内心脆弱的勇气，我希望你也有。
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我们可以谈谈那些影响我们领导力的秘密，这样从任何意义上来说，我们距离成为一位开明的领导就近了一些。那么适当示弱有帮助你成为更好的领导者吗？
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### 作者简介
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Angela Robertson ; Angela Robertson 是微软的一名高管。她和她的团队对社群互助有着极大热情，并参与开源工作。在加入微软之前，Angela 就职于红帽公司。
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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via: https://opensource.com/article/17/12/how-allowing-myself-be-vulnerable-made-me-better-leader
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作者：[Angela Robertson][a]
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译者：[Valoniakim](https://github.com/Valoniakim)
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校对：[校对者ID](https://github.com/校对者ID)
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本文由 [LCTT](https://github.com/LCTT/TranslateProject) 原创编译，[Linux中国](https://linux.cn/) 荣誉推出
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[a]:https://opensource.com/users/arobertson98
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[1]:https://opensource.com/open-organization/17/9/building-for-inclusivity
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